How to know what you want

A lot of people have this question right?

If only I knew what I wanted to do.

And then you somehow decide on what you want to do another voice kicks in

The voice is  ‘What if this is not really what I want?’

If you look at this, this is really the voice of doubt. Because you don’t want to fail.

And the best way you can’t fail is not to go after what you want, right?


A better course of action will be, try that thing out.

And then decide whether that is something that is you want to do or not, rather not starting it all all together.

The other thing that I have learned is that, even if you start, you need to patient for a while.

Because, especially in that start, your doubts and fears will be screaming at you. And it will do everything to get you off the track.

This is indeed a challenge against yourself, at least against the doubtful you.

The only way to defeat the doubt is to doubt the doubt.

You can’t get rid of your doubts that easily. And without doubts we won’t grow.

So “What if this is not what I really want”?

And you get stuck there, afraid not to even start.

So how can you know what you want, to even try out?

I usually take a stock of my desires so I can test them out.

There is a simple tool that I use

It is simply writing down the following

I desire or I want ____(desire)____ because I want to feel _____(feeling)____

The feeling needs to be included, because we are motivated to take action based on feelings.

It is a common misconception that human beings take action based on rational reasons.

We decide based on feelings.

Now you ask, what about those who are extremely logical? Well, they are deciding to avoid the feeling of failure. So they want it to be perfect.

And then there is another group who have already decided what they want, but don’t have any reasons for it. So they simply sit down and think about the rational reasons to support the decision that you’ve already made. I am definitely in this category.

Now, when using this tool, don’t filter yourself. Write down anything and everything, It can be materialistic or spiritual or any kind of desires.

For example, I want a car.

Now, be specific in your desires

Write I want to make $1000 in extra income this month doing webinars

Instead of I want to make extra income

This will instruct your subconscious to look for things that will move you towards what you want.

The other thing is that, always write your desires in the positive.

For example, write, I want to make $1000 in extra income this month doing webinars

Instead of

I want to stop being poor and sad

This is because our brain does n’t hear the negations. Use powerful words. Your language dictates how you feel.

If I tell you not to think about a white elephant, you will think of a white elephant. Yeah, exactly.

Another very important rule is that

Write these desires that you are in control of

So don’t write I want Jimmy to stop leaving dishes in the kitchen

Because you can’t change other peoples behaviours.

Instead write,

I want to respond kindly and compassionately when I feel irritated

Do this every day.

And then one day you will know that you resonate with some of these more than the others in the list. It will be a constant voice in your head. It will be almost like an obsession. Follow that obsession.

This is a great way to get in touch with what you want.