It is a moronic behavior to self-improve. The self who is trying to improve is the self that needs changing. It is fairly obvious that it is doomed to fail. It is a fallacy to self-improve.
On the other hand, is it different from change? I am not talking about transformation. Transformation is merely the same thing in a different form. It is merely attaching yourself into another set of ideas, that you think is more useful to you. It is only the same thoughts taking a different form.
Change as in sudden change. Not gradual. Because change cannot be gradual. Anything gradual is cultivated. That is not change – it is a habit. For example, meditating every day is not meditation. It is practice, conforming to a procedure and hence not meditation at all. Discipline in that sense is conformity. It can only form a habit, it cannot bring about any kind of fundamental change.
And hence, any satisfaction of having a different lifestyle, a different outlook on the world. It cannot bring about any contentment, because you have been doing the same thing, again and again, without realizing, thinking that you were doing something different, in the end, it is all the same. You think you have wasted time. And you are right, you have. Practice can only dull your mind. Makes you sleepy.
Change is sudden. If you put your hand in the fire, you have a sudden understanding, that it is dangerous, the next time you are not going to think about it, you have seen it and so you are not going to put your hand in fire anymore. You did not cultivate or form a habit or visualize it every day to understand that the fire is dangerous. You knew when you burned your hands.
Is it thinking negative, is it giving up? if you stop all your efforts to change?
Not at all, in fact, you stop feeding your ego, the need to feel important. The constant efforting comes from your self-importance to be better, often, better than others. Because that is what it really is. You are comparing yourself to others, and don’t want to feel like a failure. So, you think, at least you are trying to get somewhere and ‘not like the other people’. Remember there is no ‘self’ if there is no ‘other’
So, how can you find out how to bring about change?
Do you think, seeing the danger of one’s habits can bring change? As in, you will go nowhere near something that is stupid once you know the stupidity of your existence. Mainly your thoughts and actions, beliefs and so on?
Change, to occur, needs to be etched in one’s bones. You know! It is futile not to change.
Is change merely dropping the delusional habits and behaviors.
It needs to a dropping, right, it cannot be a reaction. As in, trying to overcome something, to bring change you do something, as a reaction. Can your will bring change?
I don’t think it can. Will is an act of the self – and is part of the problem. Anything that is done through will must perpetuate the problem. Your trying to fix things is not change – it is merely insecurity, perpetuating itself.
So how to change?
As a common man, how am I to improve the quality of my life, when I don’t understand change?
That is the real question, a more practical one.
The answer must be simple. Because what is complicated, again can only be the product of your self-importance. We tend to complicate things to satisfy our importance because we can say, at the end of it all, we have ‘triumphed against all odds’.
You need to care about change.
It is more than presenting yourself to ‘changing’ to others. It is not a question of believing in change. Do you want to change? Or is it just presentation. Do you just want to change in order to get something, love, care or affection, respect etc?
The need for respectability has to be dropped obviously. All the ‘looking good’ goes out of the window. Your fear of loneliness cannot be there for change to occur.
For change to occur, it needs to be an inside out action, not an outside in action. As in, it needs to happen within yourself. You have to have found it by yourself. Not by following a method or some expert.
For this very same reason, reading books, and attending numerous self-development workshops cannot bring about any fundamental change.
Caring means, caring deeply. You want to do for yourself. It is both a selfish act and the most selfless one. Because others are going to benefit from your change. On the other hand, your pretentious change is only going to hurt others.
And it has to come from you. You are the only authority in your life.
It means very often pissing others off, not listening to your own thoughts given to you as a kid, not listening to the sense of your ‘self’.
And obviously, the ideals of success – all the marketed, advertised ideals of success and meaning. Because all that is there to gradually, subconsciously hypnotize you. You see an ad several times, even if you don’t care for it particularly, your decisions are going to be biased when making that purchase. It is simple branding and you think you are choosing, and in fact, you are nudged in that direction.
If you seek something, you are bound to find it. Be careful of your beliefs because you will only confirm what you believe.
Don’t use these tips as ideas and gimmicks. Don’t give your brain something new to chew on. For it is the same movement of pretentiousness.