I read routine helps anxiety. Having a sense of control. As long as you feel you are in control you are less prone to anxiety.
But is that living? Always in control because you are afraid of being anxious. Do you want a routine? It is conformity. I wouldn’t like it.
More than like it, it makes me dull. That must make people dull, routine, doing the same things over and over again, not making any kind of progress in life.
How about learning about anxiety, having direct contact with anxiety, without words, without translating the contact with the voice in your head. And even if you do, see them as an appearance in your field of experience. The field of experience being the sensations, seeing colours, smell, thoughts, whatever you happen to notice right now. Without the running or clinging after it because you dislike or like it.
That way you don’t have to follow a routine or want to be in control. The sense of insecurity that is triggered by anxiety, anxious thoughts, is that a fact? Does it actually secure you?
Which do you think, will make you better equipped to handle life, living in a secure box or go other learning about life as we go through it, stepping out of your secure box, and handle life?
It is obvious, I presume, anyone who is rational would go with the second option. Yet I choose to be with the thoughts that make me comfortable.
We are quick to say, that does not feel good, so I am not going to do it. Some of us, most of us attribute this to the intuition and gut feeling. We mistake fear for intelligence. That is not gut-feeling or intuition, my friends.
Have you actually experienced intuition? I have not. But I have the common sense and awareness to see when I am afraid. Are you aware of your fear? Are you aware of your deception? As it is, aren’t we only clinging to the idea of intuition without actually investigating it with care?
Routine gives us security, and not having a routine makes insecure. You are out of control – that is a common notion. But I think, the routine makes you more and more anxious inevitably. Anything will throw you off should you be exposed to anything outside of your secure box. Even simple things as people disagreeing with you. You are missing out on a lot in life when in that box of routine.
So, it is clear that it is not actual security. Such security is an illusion that we have chosen to be in because it is comfortable. The comfort zone if you will.
The even more nasty thing is that, once we get acquainted with such sense of security, we start to demand that other people should not interfere with our sense of security. One must not offend another – things like that. We depend on others to give us this sense of security and so end up being filled with insecurity in the process of seeking this security. We are not independent or have any authority ourselves anymore ironically.
Demanding someone else should treat us the way we want them to is being insecure. That is not being independent.
Which sounds better to you, having the security and never experience life, or understanding anxiety and, having anxiety step out of your need for security.
So, how does one dismantle this anxiety?
I think the answer is pretty simple. With facts.
We have a tendency to mystify our experiences because we crave special experiences, which would mean that we are leading interesting lives. This is especially true with women. That only leads to more misery, because you are dealing with something that is not there. In the process of seeking this self-importance, we put aside facts and go for the things that make us feel better. That kind of pleasure isn’t it miserable. The same thing going in circles one after the other?
It is ironic that the need to feel good perpetuates our feeling bad after that momentary pleasure.
There are a few things that contribute to this mystification, using ideas like confidence, self-esteem, self-worth – you are starting to create an unsolvable problem. Something that you don’t understand yet, so you start chasing it because you derive the meaning of your existence from chasing. Anything we don’t understand we immediately call it ‘divine intervention’, ‘spiritual experience’, ‘intuition’ etc etc.
Demystifying our experiences with facts, not with our preconceived opinions and evaluations – with the chatter in your head. Direct contact with what is. How do you perceive things?
Do you think observing what is going on when you are anxious will lead you to understand anxiety? Do you think you are becoming intimate for the lack of a better word, with anxiety? There is care now when you look at anxiety. There is no more condemning of your fear, anxiety or any difficult emotion, whatever brought such emotion in the first place. Is it anxiety anymore when you look at it now? Is there an urge to run away when you are in direct contact and ‘facing’ your anxiety?
Because that is what facing fear actually is, it is not taking action in order to ‘overcome fear’.
The moment you say you have to overcome anything, you develop resistance to it.