Why am I sad?

I don’t have what others have. Arising from the comparison. I am not as successful as someone else, my closest friend, my ex-girlfriend. I look at her Instagram stories and pics and get jealous.

That sadness is really envy. They’re so together, I can’t tell the difference.

Loneliness. loneliness is in relation to others. If there was no one else here but me, I would n’t know what it is to be lonely. Loneliness implies companionship on the other end. Again a reaction.

Getting to know these reactions is important. I can then know a change has occurred, or I’ve been living the same patterns. Can I really know whether a change has occurred? I can not change, that is for sure. Because what I want to change into, I already am. Psychologically.

I am not saying I want to be a millionaire, so I already am. Rather, internally. Why I want to be a millionaire.

I don’t know what I don’t know.

Comparison is at the root of loneliness. Comparing to others who seem to be loved by others, and seeing that I am not surrounded, praised, reached out to, by the loved ones, I feel lonely. I deem myself unwanted.

Can I look at my loneliness without including ‘others’ into the equation?

To overcome loneliness is an act out of loneliness. Any action out of that will be neurotic.

How, do I understand my loneliness? How can I ask myself that question?

So far, I had been looking up to others for answers, god, books, youtube, the so-called leaders, coaches, the ones who have figured it out.

How can I take responsibility and ask myself?

Responsibility. To respond. Not to react. To respond. What does it mean?