If you don’t want to take things personally, you need to understand that people are not nice. It is not healthy to see others as superior in being virtuous and whatever they say is true without question. This comes from thinking that you are wrong. That there is something wrong with you, and everyone else is perfect.
People are nasty, and when they say harsh words it is because of them. That is the way you develop a thick skin. By understanding that the whole world does not revolve around you.
Taking things personally, is in fact, the highest form of selfishness. The word does not revolve around you. Everything that is being said and happening around you is not because of you. It is a twisted way of feeling important, by saying it is because of me.
Don’t think for a moment, others are nasty, and you are virtuous. That you are the good person, but all the bad things happen to you. You are equally nasty. The faster you accept that, the quicker power will return to you and will see others as equally nasty, they are nothing special. The beauty though, is the ability to connect with one another with their nastiness and their whole humaneness.
Don’t hate the racist, they are as nasty as you. Don’t hate the sexist, they are as nasty as you. They are merely playing out their version of the story. Don’t think they are harmless. Be clever. Be intelligent. Don’t hate them because then you don’t have any power. You have the power how to respond.
Feeling virtuous is an easy way to feel victimised. “This is not fair, this should not be happening to me because I am better than you. I have not hurt a fly. This should not be happening to me. You have no right to do that to me”.
It does not matter, if it is fair or not, no one owes you a thing. Are you virtuous because you expect to be treated good, because you want to feel special? What kind of virtue is that? That is nastiness.
We are all a bunch of nasty people in a fucked up society. Relax in to that, first of all. Figure out your values, how you want to live. Not to feel virtuous, but because that is how you want to live it.
Don’t take anything personally, because accept that people are not so nice. Bring to mind a time when you were nasty to someone else how it had nothing to do with them, this should be easy. It is the same thing in reverse. It is not that hard to understand. It is very simple.