If you have an explanation of why you can’t do certain something, you are using it as an excuse not to do it. More importantly, you don’t value what you say you value. It is possible that you are being polite and seemingly agreeing with whoever you are talking to (even in a desperate attempt to convince yourself) and not being honest about the situation. It is that you don’t value it to do so much. Clearly!
But you seem to think somehow, that by appearing to be valuing that which the other person values, you are getting the recognition and approval from the other. To seem to be doing what others are doing, to do what the common notion of a good life is, you deprive yourself of your one single opportunity to find out for yourself.
This is why people seem to say one thing and act in a different way. To look at the actions is probably more accurate if you want to give a verbal explanation of why people do the things they do.
But it does not matter. Figuring out why they do things they do is besides the point. Or figuring out why you do the things they do, more importantly.
It is the pressure from others to value the same things as they do. And it is imprinted in your thinking, that you also think that, you must value this thing, but you somehow can’t seem to take any action moving towards what you want.
That is not surprising because most of our thoughts are not ours, they are given to us.
Once you start thinking for yourself, in other words – not think in terms what you already know – which is all of your thinking – then you start discovering things for what they are. There is no place for your prejudice, opinions and conclusions here. And that is the only way you can inquire into what you want. Everything else you say you want is superficial.