Why do we spend so much time trying t improve ourselves?
For some reason, we don’t feel ready, we need to get better emotionally, have more courage, be more productive, and so on, to do a certain thing.
What are you trying to do once you have made yourself better?
Or are you, by trying to be better, avoiding doing the thing that you want to do?
Does it involve fantasy? The plans, the romantic ideas & steps towards your goals that you invent in your head? Dreaming. ‘I will do this and that, and then I will arrive’, imagining you arriving. You even create a detailed plan.
Or is it some kind of visualization, which gives you pleasure or relief from the discomfort of being nothing, now, by having the images of success? fantasizing?
Is it mere procrastination?
Is it you being afraid of effort?
Is it you doubting your capacity?
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I fantasize about being a superhero, which is, coming from I wanting more capacity to do the things that we want.
A sense of wishing to be a superhero so that I could do the things I want.
Or are you just doing exactly what you want? Which is, doing nothing. The need for security, which can sometimes, translate to being comfortable staying in bed, doing nothing.
And out of doing nothing, you jump out to be productive, the very first thing to do is planning. Planning. And there we get caught up in the planning, actually doing the things we want.
You have these hundred distractions, planning, fantasizing, journaling, visualizing, writing, to avoid facing the fact that you’re nothing.
You’re nothing. And so you need to be thinking all the time, to feel like you’re something.
We’re afraid of being nothing. Afraid of being called nothing, being called stupid. So we plan to be something, to be better, but then the plan becomes more important. Which is prolonging our stupidity.
Out of this fear of being nothing, you say things like ‘you love yourself, which has become quite obnoxious to hear for me these days.
I don’t think you need to love yourself, indulging in yourself, either that is, loving or hating, or self-pitying or praising, you’re essentially doing the same thing, but gives a different form. But it doesn’t feel like we’re doing the same thing because of the ‘positive or negative’ emotion evaluation.
We’re still caught up in improving ourselves.
So if there is no bettering yourself, can you do the thing, without thinking about you, your emotions, your lack, or your having of certain things that you think is necessary to do – THE THING.
Ask yourself, why can’t you do the end thing right now! or don’t ask.
‘Just do it’ – may be the right approach.
Thinking in terms of steps to arrive somewhere might be the problem here. Maybe you don’t need the steps.
Be very careful when you plan, or introduce a hundred steps in between you and the thing you want to do.
Do you really want to do it, or you just want to feel like you’re doing something.
And still, if the answer is yes, maybe do it now, without the steps, unless it requires learning some actual skill, not an emotional maturity of some kind.0