If I am talking to someone, I expect them to give me their attention. Especially when it is they who approached me asking for help.
I am spending my valuable time, to help this person and he doesn’t listen. It is so irritating.
I lost my cool with this guy today. He asked me for help. I was helping him. He gets called by someone else, as I am talking to him, he starts to talk to the other guy. ‘Hello!’
I was furious. I could feel the anger bubbling up. I said. ‘Don’t do that, it is so irritating’.
They continued to talk to each other. I turned my head away and focused on the work I was doing. Ignored the one who asked me for help altogether.
Next time, I have a plan when he asks for my help and before I decide to leave what I was doing and start to help him unwillingly – I am going to say – ‘Come back when you can give total attention, because my time is valuable too, and I don’t want to waste it when you’re barely paying attention – after all, it is you who want my attention’
One thing though, in the corporate world, if you lose your cool to something like that, then they know it is something to pick on and irritate me with in the future.
So rather this requires a rather, zen approach, in that it does not have an effect on me. It is good to ignore the person than to say ‘don’t do that’.
Because these people are never going to listen to you.
The expectation of people to act in the ways that I like is a rather foolish mission. At the same time, I need to effective in using my time as well.
Even if I say ‘come back when you have attention’ – there is nothing stopping him from doing the same thing again.
The only thing to do then is refusing to help. But that is a lot of force and rather childish, I think. There must be a more graceful way of doing this. That is effortless.
Dear colleague, if you are reading this, well…, now you know.