22 Reasons Why You Fail in Relationships

Some relationship advice now. I am not a relationship expert by any means. I have some experience in coaching people on relationships before. I have taken numerous courses around this subject, even got married for two months (fake) to try out what marriage feels like. Now, it is not the real deal but it is something.

These are my observations in my own relationships and my friends, my clients, stuff I have read in books and I thought, ‘that is actually true’. Take them as my opinions and hopefully, you can relate. I have tried a lot the bullshit out there, taking one course after another only to realize they are all the same – different forms – ideologies, but the same nonetheless.

To navigate your relationship, you have to spend some energy into what works for you, for that self-awareness and attention are necessary to see what is going around you and in the person you are in a relationship with.

Here I am only trying to give some pointers to the nature of relationships that I have observed in my journey so […]

Do you think you are overly sensitive?

Let’s first make a distinction. What do you mean by sensitivity? Sensitivity is not same as reactivity. Are you being reactive or sensitive?

Reactivity comes from egotism.

An urge to protect your self-image. The idea of you is hurt so you have to defend it. So, you react. Egotism in the sense that, something is attacking your concept of you. If you think you are honest and someone calls you a liar, you get hurt. That is being reactive. Not being sensitive.

The world does not revolve around you. You might think it does, like a child thinking everything that is happening around him/her is his doing. Parents fight, the kid thinks that it is because of him. Someone says something to you out of their own insecurities, you think it is you. Someone rejects you, you think it is because of you.

The coffee you ordered happens to be cold, or the waitress is slow in responding to you, you think she is being racist or something else. You get offended and then you want to punish them. That is not being sensitive at […]

Be Yourself, What Does It Mean?

“Be yourself”. This is a very common advice that you get from others, when you ask what you shall do? – in your confusion. This is being thrown around a lot as advice.

What do you mean?

Don’t people please – or look for validation from others, that is what it means in simple terms. Validation in the sense that you needing to feel good, or to feel right about yourself based on others’ opinions. Be yourself means not to change your behaviour according to the circumstances. Don’t put on different masks in different situations. People notice the inconsistency in your behaviours, and this is why they are eager to give such an advice. Because they recognise those behaviours in themselves, and they don’t like that. Their ideal is also to be the one who is “being themselves”.

We don’t understand what is meant by the statement “be yourself” because we often don’t know we are in these people pleasing or validation seeking behaviours. So, something like “be yourself” has no meaning to us. After all who are we being right now? if we are not ourselves. It can be rather absurd to hear something […]

By |2019-01-03T12:24:35+00:00December 24, 2018|Personal Growth Tips, Relationships|0 Comments

How to Meet People When Traveling – Apps, Tips, Anxiety

When you travel, this question must have crossed your mind. You travel to meet new people, for new experiences and so on. You left because you were not having enough sex or you want some anonymity in doing so – so you travel. You travel because you want to “find yourself”. You travel because you are lonely.

You are just “making friends” when actually you are looking for some romantic interaction. Someone who likes the things you like, which is to travel. To have a girlfriend or a boyfriend who you can travel with. With whom you can take pictures with and post on Instagram – so you feel that you are having an awesome life. All this.

Nowadays, with technology you can create relationships however superficial or meaningful. But meeting is the first step. There are several apps that you can use to meet people.

Use couchsurfing app to meet locals and travellers. You can use the hangouts section, enter what you want to do and wait for responses. Or you can request to join other hangouts that is happening. […]

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