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We are afraid to be stupid or to appear to be stupid. Because of this, we are afraid to fail, and attempt things that can’t be well controlled. We plan for failures. We’re bringing the past failures and accounting for that in this planning, and that way repeating the same pattern. Planning is basically this. To re-create something already known, using the methods to avert…
Follow my blog with Bloglovin Are we conditioned to lie? Now I know that may seem to be a jump from the question ‘why do relationships fail’ but bear with me. We have a lot of automatic responses. A result of habit, picked up as far as back from our childhood. Saying the right things, the socially acceptable thing. Even simple things like saying, thank…
Who gets rejected? Who is rejecting? I am afraid of being humiliated, maybe that’s because of one’s childhood. Strict parents etc. The reason does not matter. Knowing the reasons for problems hasn’t solved the problems. I read a book, read something about the psychology of the problem, then I say ‘oh that must be it’. Then I go on to tell someone else, or even…
Don’t praise me. I don’t like it. You are praising me because you want something. It puts pressure on me to perform. You praise me once, the next time I think I am expected to perform better. Praise implies there is criticism on the other end. Praise can not be without criticism. They exist together. Praise as criticism, is just words. They don’t mean anything….
I’ve been to Poland a few times now. It used to be my go-to place when I am out of a job and looking for my next contract. Because you know, London is expensive and Poland is super cheap. I used to have this impression that Poland is a poor country, the quality of life is bad, etc, etc. Because every other person I come…
Death is a stop to continuity. Physically, the organism dies. Why are we frightened of this ending of continuity? We as we know it cease to exist. The memory of who I am, cease to exist. We will be nothing. The possibility of ending of the sense of self causes anxiety. My job is continuous, at least we think it is continuous, the possibility of…
Some relationship advice now. I am not a relationship expert by any means. I have some experience in coaching people on relationships before. I have taken numerous courses around this subject, even got married for two months (fake) to try out what marriage feels like. Now, it is not the real deal but it is something. These are my observations in my own relationships and…
Let’s first make a distinction. What do you mean by sensitivity? Sensitivity is not same as reactivity. Are you being reactive or sensitive? Reactivity comes from egotism. An urge to protect your self-image. The idea of you is hurt so you have to defend it. So, you react. Egotism in the sense that, something is attacking your concept of you. If you think you are…
“Be yourself”. This is a very common advice that you get from others, when you ask what you shall do? – in your confusion. This is being thrown around a lot as advice. What do you mean? Don’t people please – or look for validation from others, that is what it means in simple terms. Validation in the sense that you needing to feel good,…
When you travel, this question must have crossed your mind. You travel to meet new people, for new experiences and so on. You left because you were not having enough sex or you want some anonymity in doing so – so you travel. You travel because you want to “find yourself”. You travel because you are lonely. You are just “making friends” when actually you…