Why do we meditate at all? Isn’t it to get better? To end suffering, to improve ourselves? To be stress free? Or some other version of it?
Most people seek out meditation to end suffering
I remember when I started looking into meditation it was to sleep properly. Thoughts kept me awake at the night and I was sleeping during the day. And it pushed me into a vicious circle of judging my situation for not sleeping, questioning my life, thinking my life was a failure and… something had to be done. The pain of being stuck was getting higher and higher.
Most of my pain was brought about by the loneliness. Not having someone to spend time with… Being an awkward kid, I was not – and I don’t think I am a very sociable person. Lack of connection also made me want to try out meditation so I will be able to transcend my thoughts, stay present and make a connection with someone, or at the very least get past the fears of rejection and talk to someone.