Why What You Say You Want is Not What You Want

If you have an explanation of why you can’t do certain something, you are using it as an excuse not to do it. More importantly, you don’t value what you say you value. It is possible that you are being polite and seemingly agreeing with whoever you are talking to (even in a desperate attempt to convince yourself) and not being honest about the situation. It is that you don’t value it to do so much. Clearly!

But you seem to think somehow, that by appearing to be valuing that which the other person values, you are getting the recognition and approval from the other. To seem to be doing what others are doing, to do what the common notion of a good life is, you deprive yourself of your one single opportunity to find out for yourself.

This is why people seem to say one thing and act in a different way. To look at the actions is probably more accurate if you want to give a verbal explanation of why people do the things they do.

But it does not […]

The Trap of “How”

How do I do something? I often ask that. At my work I ask, ‘how do I code this piece of software’? In relationships, I ask, ‘How do I communicate this thing to her’, ‘How do I ask someone out’, ‘how do I approach someone’, ‘How do I communicate this to my family’, ‘How do I tell her that I am angry?’

‘How’ implies planning. The “how” works from the field of knowledge. Knowledge is what you know. Stored in your memory.

It implies, thinking, script making, in order to execute something. It is planning. It is great when it comes to work. You can solve a problem by asking ‘How’

The problem though, however, is when you start asking the same thing where your knowledge has no or little value. For example, relationships.

Relationships involve care, above all. It is not a question of ‘How’. You can’t plan how to care!

If you do, you don’t care. You are in your head.

Relationships imply that there needs to be communication, not just […]

By |2019-02-25T01:04:24+00:00February 23, 2019|Lifestyle, Personal Growth Tips|0 Comments

How to Meet People When Traveling – Apps, Tips, Anxiety

When you travel, this question must have crossed your mind. You travel to meet new people, for new experiences and so on. You left because you were not having enough sex or you want some anonymity in doing so – so you travel. You travel because you want to “find yourself”. You travel because you are lonely.

You are just “making friends” when actually you are looking for some romantic interaction. Someone who likes the things you like, which is to travel. To have a girlfriend or a boyfriend who you can travel with. With whom you can take pictures with and post on Instagram – so you feel that you are having an awesome life. All this.

Nowadays, with technology you can create relationships however superficial or meaningful. But meeting is the first step. There are several apps that you can use to meet people.

Use couchsurfing app to meet locals and travellers. You can use the hangouts section, enter what you want to do and wait for responses. Or you can request to join other hangouts that is happening. […]

Benefits of Long Term Travel

There are many benefits for long term travel. Here are some.

It can be cheaper to travel long term. Many places are cheaper than staying in a place like London or Europe, especially if you are travelling to eastern Europe, Asia or South America. I stayed in Lviv, Ukraine for 3 months, eating out all three meals, engaging in local activities, spending time in cafes and bars – about $800 dollars a month. That is a lot less when compared to living in London, where I am usually based. I usually spend around £4000 a month when in London.

You will get to meet a lot of new people. Not that this is very meaningful to me, but you will improve on your social skills, and you will become more tolerant of people’s bad behaviour, appreciate small little gestures of kindness from others etc. You will be more relaxed with people. While it won’t cure of any social anxiety you have, you will be more relaxed with it and realise that most of the people you meet are in the same boat.

By |2018-12-24T21:18:41+00:00December 11, 2018|Lifestyle, Travel Tips|0 Comments
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