Why You should not ‘Cultivate’ Self Love To Overcome Anxiety

Dealing with anxiety can not be done by practicing courage or self-love. You are just merely setting yourself up for another ideal and inviting more anxiety

The thing about practice.

Practice makes your brain dull. You can master a certain skill by repeating it, even make it unconscious, a muscle memory to do a certain task. But it makes your brain dull. There is no newness.

So much tension and tightness around the whole process.

There is some sort of conforming, disciplining to do a thing. A level of condemnation. Forcing your mind.

But are you really practicing what you want to practice when it comes to internal matters to the mind? Skills like being a good doctor or a carpenter, that takes time and repetition. But when it is inwards, say when you are afraid, can you really practice courage? for example.

Every time when you practice being courageous, that is saying that I am afraid, so I am trying to be courageous. That is not courage but a mere reaction to fear. I am still in fear.

I’ve been hurt, so I will stand tall, grab the universe by the balls, love myself, […]

By |2019-09-17T22:22:19+01:00September 17, 2019|Coaching, Journal|0 Comments

15 Amazing Things to Do When You’re in York, England

Right! need to talk about things to do in York, since that is what you searched to get here.

It was a breath of fresh air when I came here. Well relatively. I arrived here,  from London. So you can see how compared to London this city is much less congested, small, walkable everywhere, the trees, and everything. I was happy. I do get this feeling whenever I get away from London, after getting frustrated with the city, even if it is my favorite city so far. It can be lonely and boresome for me in London if I stay there continuously there for a long time. Or perhaps it is just the dread of being static, stagnant and not going anywhere. So traveling gives me a sense of moving. At least the illusion of it. 

Anyway, this post is not to talk about the misgivings of my psychological structure, but rather to share, what the heck you can do here, should you consider coming to York. Either for a weekend or any other end.

York is a charming city with its cute, cobblestoned streets in the town center. You don’t need […]

By |2019-09-08T19:31:49+01:00September 8, 2019|Travel Tips|0 Comments

Why courses, books or any Guru’s advice will not save your relationship


It’s laziness.

When we look up to a guru, a book, a coach, a savior, it is the relinquishment of responsibility and making someone else responsible. Someone else is the teacher, the coach, etc. 

If you are the very first person on earth, who would you look up to? You have to find out for yourself.

That brings a great deal of competence and confidence with whatever you are doing, because you are learning by doing. You are exercising your own intellect and not borrowing someone else’s.

We want to take the easy pill, do a course, go to a workshop, read a New York times bestseller to fix the relationship, or be in a relationship. 

We are becoming lazy in that regard.

If you don’t take that kind of responsibility by relinquishing authority, asking someone else to how to ‘do relationship’ then we don’t need to confront the fact that we may fail, and we were responsible for it, that we contributed to the failure. And that failure can be […]

By |2019-06-27T00:50:04+01:00June 27, 2019|Personal Growth Tips|0 Comments

83 Simple Tips on Traveling for Those Who Want to Travel Like a Pro

I have been traveling on and off since 2012 now and here are some quick tips on traveling for you to try out.

I have never traveled for the love of traveling, well, in the beginning, I had this image of feeling fresh, joyful and adventure in my head – an idea of how I wanted to feel. But it was really to cure my social anxiety and get more confidence, etc. Also, I found out after reading Tim Ferriss’s book traveling was cheaper than staying home in London.

But in that process, I did learn how to travel well, at least not badly.

So, these are my tips on traveling for you whatever your motivations are, whether it is for a short holiday, or to travel long term, try out that digital nomad lifestyle that everyone is talking about, or even if it just to escape the depressing world back home for a short while.

As they say, the majority of life’s problems are caused by misinformation or no information. With the right knowledge, life becomes simpler – in this case, travel.



By |2019-04-11T14:59:32+01:00April 11, 2019|Travel, Travel Tips|0 Comments

22 Reasons Why You Fail in Relationships

Some relationship advice now. I am not a relationship expert by any means. I have some experience in coaching people on relationships before. I have taken numerous courses around this subject, even got married for two months (fake) to try out what marriage feels like. Now, it is not the real deal but it is something.

These are my observations in my own relationships and my friends, my clients, stuff I have read in books and I thought, ‘that is actually true’. Take them as my opinions and hopefully, you can relate. I have tried a lot the bullshit out there, taking one course after another only to realize they are all the same – different forms – ideologies, but the same nonetheless.

To navigate your relationship, you have to spend some energy into what works for you, for that self-awareness and attention are necessary to see what is going around you and in the person you are in a relationship with.

Here I am only trying to give some pointers to the nature of relationships that I have observed in my journey so […]

Why Fear of The Unknown is Really Fear of The Known

I don’t think there is such a thing as fear of the unknown. Here’s why.

You don’t know what is going to happen so why are you afraid of something that you don’t know about? You don’t know if it is harmful to you.

Is it because we don’t know whether what is not known is good or bad for us? We only know what happens when we engage with what we don’t understand fully because we had such an experience before. And that knowledge is known, but that is not applicable to every future event.

So, there is no such thing as fear of the unknown. It is rather the fear of the known. Rather it is the fear of what you have already felt before, a sense of powerlessness when we engage with things that we can’t control. The sense of nervousness. If you look at a closer look at it, it is the fear of how you have felt and the fear of some familiar nasty thoughts repeating. And treating such feelings and thoughts that have not occurred yet as things […]

By |2019-03-20T11:46:43+01:00March 20, 2019|Personal Growth Tips|0 Comments

Why What You Say You Want is Not What You Want

If you have an explanation of why you can’t do certain something, you are using it as an excuse not to do it. More importantly, you don’t value what you say you value. It is possible that you are being polite and seemingly agreeing with whoever you are talking to (even in a desperate attempt to convince yourself) and not being honest about the situation. It is that you don’t value it to do so much. Clearly!

But you seem to think somehow, that by appearing to be valuing that which the other person values, you are getting the recognition and approval from the other. To seem to be doing what others are doing, to do what the common notion of a good life is, you deprive yourself of your one single opportunity to find out for yourself.

This is why people seem to say one thing and act in a different way. To look at the actions is probably more accurate if you want to give a verbal explanation of why people do the things they do.

But it does not […]

Simple Guidance For You In Anxiety

I read routine helps anxiety. Having a sense of control. As long as you feel you are in control you are less prone to anxiety.

But is that living? Always in control because you are afraid of being anxious. Do you want a routine? It is conformity. I wouldn’t like it.

More than like it, it makes me dull. That must make people dull, routine, doing the same things over and over again, not making any kind of progress in life.

How about learning about anxiety, having direct contact with anxiety, without words, without translating the contact with the voice in your head. And even if you do, see them as an appearance in your field of experience. The field of experience being the sensations, seeing colours, smell, thoughts, whatever you happen to notice right now. Without the running or clinging after it because you dislike or like it.

That way you don’t have to follow a routine or want to be in control. The sense of insecurity that is triggered by anxiety, anxious thoughts, is that a fact? Does it actually secure you?

By |2019-03-01T17:03:01+01:00March 1, 2019|Personal Growth Tips|0 Comments

Why Courage is an idea and a Myth

Courage is an idea, so is fearlessness. In the now, it is just now.

I can guess what you are thinking. Hash is saying another obscure thing. Let me go into a little bit.

Courage is an idea created by comparison. Measurement through thoughts. How courageous are you compared to another? Same with fearlessness how afraid are you compared to someone else.

That measurement is the sense of ‘I’. The Ego. Not just in the common use of the word, which is ego equals pride. It is also operating when there is any kind of comparison, which is, for most of us, always. We don’t even know that we are talking to ourselves mostly.

So, if you were to ask, how you are to become courageous, that will not be the appropriate question to ask. Because you want to become an idea you have as ‘courageous’

And that idea is given to you, by others, society and so on. They might have told you that in order […]

By |2019-02-28T02:02:16+01:00February 28, 2019|Personal Growth Tips|0 Comments

What I Wish Everyone Knew About Journalling

I have stopped journaling. Well, that is not entirely true, I have restricted my journalling habits. I also have a journal section on this very blog.

The way I use it has changed. I use it more or less share my internal world to others, it is no more a private affair that way.

Though, I have a personal journal too, that I don’t share here, simply because some are too dark to share here – or too embarrassing.

Journaling is more or less regular for me for the last 6 years or so – in different forms.

The way I had been journaling

Whenever I feel like. More accurately whenever I have to get something out of my chest. Whether I am going through sadness, fear, anger or even when I am happy. To be honest, I only turn to journaling whenever I see there is some problem with my mind, not when I am happy. Maybe I should, […]

By |2019-02-26T14:50:38+01:00February 26, 2019|Personal Growth Tips|0 Comments
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