Below are some simple things that you can do daily to boost your self-confidence and self-esteem. These are simple enough and does not take much time, so you can integrate them into your life. Some of them are simple adjustments to what you are already doing. Others are exercises that you can do sitting down such as meditation and journaling. You don’t have to do everything, choose things that you can easily do and the ones that are most effective to you.
1. Take space when you sit and stand up straight with your shoulders back.
Posture and physiology affects your mood and confidence. This will allow you to think self-affirming thoughts, and change your mood. Taking space is an act of saying “I matter” and standing straight with your shoulders back is a stance where you are reading to participate in life.
2. Make fists and make a V in the air
Another posture to influence your mood is to make a fist and throw up in the air like a “V” and hold it for 2-3 seconds. It is simple but effective.
3. The superman/wonder woman stance
You can also stand like wonder woman or superman with your hands on your hip when talking to people with your feet planted in the ground. Relax into your feet and feel the weight of your body while talking.
4. Speak clearly and slowly
Assertive people speak in a confident, slow and clear manner. Practice speaking this way. Use the right intonations when speaking. That is state sentences and ask questions. Don’t say sentences in the way you ask a question.
5. Offer suggestions when making group decisions.
When you are in a group conversation, when you are deciding on where to eat for example, offer suggestions. Suggest “let’s go to ___(place)___”. Practice this whenever you get a chance. Practice leading.
6. Use a mirror to complement your body
When you to the toilet to brush, stand in front of the mirror, preferably naked, and complement yourself. Complement you on your smile or a certain body part. You can also, if you want to go deeper, go each body part, by part, saying loving things to them. This will be a bit unusual in the beginning, but your brain will catch up soon.
Also, throughout the day when you encounter a mirror, say things like “Look at that sexy women”, “What a handsome man” etc.
7. Set a small goal daily and achieve them
Our minds are goal oriented. Even trying to be goalless is in itself a goal. Achieving goals gives us a sense accomplishment, a sense of “I did it”. Set a small achievable goal for yourself every day. This will set you in the momentum of getting things done, once you achieve one goal, that will propel you to do a slightly bigger foal for the next day.
8. Pick a task that you have been postponing and do it today
Not completing tasks affects your self-esteem. It signals your brain that you are putting off doing something that is important to you. This affects your self-confidence because you know that you are causing yourself harm by not doing the task which in turn lowers your self-respect to yourself.
9. Make one decision today that you have been postponing weighing pros and cons
Remember there is no bad decision. Each decision is a learning experience that will teach you a lot. Research enough on the subject, and then make a quick decision using your best judgement. Treat decisions as learning experiences. Things that you postpone take your attention constantly thus draining your energy. Knowing that you made a decision will improve your confidence. People avoid decision making and delegate it to others because they don’t want to take the responsibility for the consequences for the decision. If things go south they can easily blame on others, thus avoiding responsibility for life. Set a timer, do enough research and make the decision.
10. Ask for one thing that you want
The first step in getting what you want is knowing what you want. Then comes the asking part. Be shameless in admitting your deepest and silliest desires. Ask for it with specificity, exactly the way you want it every day.
11. Face one fear every day
A fear is something that gives you that uncomfortable feeling in your stomach. People call it butterflies, fire etc. I have trained myself to say it is my desire against my self doubt. Face one such fear every day. start with small and easy fears. Slowly lean into your fears rather than throwing yourself into the deep end.
12. Call your loved ones
Call your loved ones, may it be your parents, siblings or friends. Nurture these connections. Reveal yourself bit by bit and invite them to open up about themselves. So many people don’t know how to do it, and often have very disconnected relationships with their parents, siblings and friends. Listen to them and let them know how much you appreciate them
13. Talk to a stranger everyday
Creating new connections is vital for our social esteem. Knowing that you have the power to create new relationships is like a super weapon in your self-esteem arsenal. Be curious about them and try to have a genuine connection with them. You don’t need to get their contact details, it is a simple act of offering connection.
14. Meditate for 15 minutes
Meditation gives you some space between your thoughts and feelings and helps you stay grounded and objective. It increases your capacity to feel more and still make an objective decision without being swept away by your thoughts and feelings. This also helps you to stay aware of your regular unhealthy patterns. And give you enough attention so that you can catch when you are going against yourself by indulging in patterns that are not good for you enabling you to break away from it.
15. Journal for 15 minutes
Our brains love to know how we are progressing through our lives, journaling on the day’s events, how it has affected you, your feelings and thoughts everyday helps you see how you are living your life. It helps you to compare who you are today to the person who you were yesterday. This is much more effective than comparing yourself to others. It will give you internal validation. Journaling also will help you identify repeating patterns and will allow you to change the course of your life.
16. Take care of your appearance
Make one tiny improvement about your appearance every day. Groom yourself properly. Wear comfortable, fitting clothes in which you feel confident in. Be sharp in your looks. This will help you improve your self-image. Don’t go out there fishing for complements, remember, this is for you.
17. Eat healthy
Have a healthy diet. Diet is very important in having a healthy body you feel good in. Reduce your carbs and high GI food intake. Experiment with eating patterns such as intermittent fasting. Try the carnivores diet. Calorie counting is not the most effective way, see what food is good for you. Don’t exhaust yourself with counting your micro nutrients. Count your macros if you must count something. Pick up a copy of the 4-hour body by Tim Ferris. He has some amazing tips in his book for a healthy eating lifestyle.
18. Exercise for at least five minutes every day
When you wake do it as the first thing when you get out of your bed. Even a five minute stretching or yoga is enough when you are starting out. This will give you enough momentum into starting a healthy exercise regimen. Also this will give you a sense of accomplishment and increased energy throughout the day.
19. Make a list of things that you are grateful for
Set a timer for 10 minutes and write the things that you are grateful for. Number each your gratitude to know you have so many things in your life that you are grateful for. Make it a daily practice. Don’t worry about repetitions each day.
20. Write down “I AM” affirmations for 10 minutes
Set a timer for ten minutes and write down “I AM” affirmations. These need to be simple, positive and value based. Think of you as who you want to become and what values you want to see in yourself. Use these values to phrase the affirmations. For example, “I am confident, I am calm, I am grounded, I am competent, I am willing, I am disciplined, I am courageous, I am truthful, I am vulnerable” etc.
21. Appreciate yourself
Write down your accomplishments before going to sleep every day. This is your “You did” list. Take time to appreciate and acknowledge yourself.
22. Watch your favourite animal videos for 10 minutes
Go to youtube and search for “cute __(animal)__”. This will generate positive feelings within yourself and improve your mood2