How do you build confidence and destroy fear? Well it is not that complicated. Here are some tips.
It is not all in your head
“It is all in your head! don’t worry take a breath”
How many of you have heard this from a friend when you are afraid. ‘Don’t worry, it is all in your head’
Well, the fear is very real.
And that comment is not going to help.
The good news is though that you can train your mind to trick fear.
So, what cures fear?
Each action that is taken towards facing the fear, cures the fear a little.
Action cures fear.
For example, you are afraid of failing in the exam? Well study more. That will be a positive action that will give you more confidence.
Spend more time taking action to cure the fear that spending worrying.
That is just simple common sense.
Another example, you’re worried that your relationship is falling apart?
Well take actions that will contribute to your relationship. Enquire about your partner, as them how they are feeling. Go on a date or whatever that you guys feel that will nurture the relationship. Offer more support for your partner if needed. Listen more if you needed. Give attention if needed.
That is how you cure fear.
Take little steps. Lean into the fear. Rather than jumping into the deep end.
You might be tempted to jump in the deep end, that might work. However if you don’t have the right kind of mental framework to frame the experience, you might find yourself more afraid leaving you traumatised.
So play within your range and a bit more, but not certainly that much where you can potentially cause harm. Take small steps.
Imagine where you will be if you take 30 such small steps this month.
Keep the momentum going by keeping a victory log
Write down the areas where your attention is leaked on worrying and fearing. Make a list. And then below that make 6-10 action steps that you can take to face that fear.
And make those steps everyday.
Get a journal and write these steps down when you take them in a victory log.
Assess it everyday. This is really important to keep you in that momentum.
I guarantee you, you will start feeling good and more confident. I experience this straight away once I have done the first couple of things.
Don’t treat it like a todo list, but more like a personal development plan.
Self awareness will grow as well as you do this.
You can further take several areas of your life such as relationships and family, career and money, hobbies, personal growth, spiritual growth etc and write down your current fears and the corresponding actions to cure them.
These are proven tools to handle fears and boost confidence, you only have to use it.
The most common reason why people don’t take action
Laziness is the number 1 reason people don’t do it.
Not because they don’t want something, only because they don’t believe that they deserve that something.
Why attempt something that is going to fail anyway.
Every time you avoid taking action, you are creating a split in your psyche
This action is a feedback loop, as you take more action, the more confidence will have to more action, so on and so on..
Every time you avoid taking action, you are creating a split in your psyche, your mind knows, it registers that you are going against yourself.
The guilt created because of that will become a monster. And I am sure you have a lot of built up guilt like this. Some of us are so unconscious to know any such guilt even exists.
So when you don’t ask out someone on a date and avoid it, or when you don’t raise your hands fully in a meeting to voice your opinion, your mind registers it. Even if you say ‘next time’
This is essentially a lie. This is how we lie to ourselves. And we do it so often.
You’re essentially training your mind to be afraid and to go against the thing you want. This is how our current useless habits work.
So make it a priority to work through your fears one step at a time.
Don’t be lazy.