My first depression was when I was sent to boarding school. I felt abandoned by my parents, thought they only cared about having me scoring good grades and becoming an engineer or doctor.
I didn’t feel useful. I think that was the main cause of it. I felt useless. I resorted to violence and an inflated self importance to get attention. I was good challenging people though, I had caused chaos in my college, got expelled from two schools, though I was a top scorer. My grades fell eventually. I felt useless. I fell sick with migraines and I had to remove myself from noises and light and was very angry.
I think the lack of the feeling that were useful is at the source of it. My household was not a supportive environment. There was a lot of domestic violence, I got a lot of it. At that point also there were a lot of family disputes as well between my father and his brothers. So was in the middle of their fights with axes and iron rods and shit! This was my normal life. So it did not help much not getting depressed.
There were a […]