Do you think you are overly sensitive?

Let’s first make a distinction. What do you mean by sensitivity? Sensitivity is not same as reactivity. Are you being reactive or sensitive?

Reactivity comes from egotism.

An urge to protect your self-image. The idea of you is hurt so you have to defend it. So, you react. Egotism in the sense that, something is attacking your concept of you. If you think you are honest and someone calls you a liar, you get hurt. That is being reactive. Not being sensitive.

The world does not revolve around you. You might think it does, like a child thinking everything that is happening around him/her is his doing. Parents fight, the kid thinks that it is because of him. Someone says something to you out of their own insecurities, you think it is you. Someone rejects you, you think it is because of you.

The coffee you ordered happens to be cold, or the waitress is slow in responding to you, you think she is being racist or something else. You get offended and then you want to punish them. That is not being sensitive at […]

Tallinn Experience – My Trip To Estonia

Estonia was part of a trip with a friend of mine. We met a few years learning how to pick-up women back in 2015. Since then we stayed connected though haven’t necessarily “picked up” women. This was a trip to re bond and have a good time, and good time we had, indeed.

I am not a sight seer usually, nor is he. So, don’t expect me to share 10 things to see in Tallinn in Estonia.

But the ones that I do are usually the walking tours in every city. We went to the local bars, visited local coffee shops and walked around this small city a lot.

On a rainy day we set out to meet some people around the malls in Tallinn, the first day was a disaster, it was raining, cold and there were not many people in around the malls, at least that is the impression that we got. We were only starting to get to know the city.

On our first day, we checked into our Airbnb. The host was extremely detailed and even told us “this […]

By |2018-12-31T23:55:38+00:00December 31, 2018|Journal, Travel|0 Comments

Search engines and tools to find cheap accommodation

These are some apps and websites that I frequently use to find cheap accommodation when travelling. As a general rule of thumb, know what you want (hotel, private room, dorm etc) and where you want to stay (centre or outside the city) to get the most out of these tools.

If you want the best prices, search on all of these tools. I usually set a budget and get the highest that money can buy. For example, it is better to go for a highest double room in a 3- or 2-star hotel rather than going for a single room in a 4-star hotel.

Because I am generally an introverted person and have to push myself to be sociable, rather than being miserable by myself, I usually go for double rooms in hostels. You get good quality double rooms with the social atmosphere of the hostel. This is especially good for small groups and solo travellers who likes the privacy. This is usually the case, but if you are in a city like London where the prices are very high, even these double rooms can be overpriced for what it actually offers. So […]

By |2019-01-02T22:28:26+00:00December 27, 2018|Travel Tips|0 Comments

Be Yourself, What Does It Mean?

“Be yourself”. This is a very common advice that you get from others, when you ask what you shall do? – in your confusion. This is being thrown around a lot as advice.

What do you mean?

Don’t people please – or look for validation from others, that is what it means in simple terms. Validation in the sense that you needing to feel good, or to feel right about yourself based on others’ opinions. Be yourself means not to change your behaviour according to the circumstances. Don’t put on different masks in different situations. People notice the inconsistency in your behaviours, and this is why they are eager to give such an advice. Because they recognise those behaviours in themselves, and they don’t like that. Their ideal is also to be the one who is “being themselves”.

We don’t understand what is meant by the statement “be yourself” because we often don’t know we are in these people pleasing or validation seeking behaviours. So, something like “be yourself” has no meaning to us. After all who are we being right now? if we are not ourselves. It can be rather absurd to hear something […]

By |2019-01-03T12:24:35+00:00December 24, 2018|Personal Growth Tips, Relationships|0 Comments

How to Meet People When Traveling – Apps, Tips, Anxiety

When you travel, this question must have crossed your mind. You travel to meet new people, for new experiences and so on. You left because you were not having enough sex or you want some anonymity in doing so – so you travel. You travel because you want to “find yourself”. You travel because you are lonely.

You are just “making friends” when actually you are looking for some romantic interaction. Someone who likes the things you like, which is to travel. To have a girlfriend or a boyfriend who you can travel with. With whom you can take pictures with and post on Instagram – so you feel that you are having an awesome life. All this.

Nowadays, with technology you can create relationships however superficial or meaningful. But meeting is the first step. There are several apps that you can use to meet people.

Use couchsurfing app to meet locals and travellers. You can use the hangouts section, enter what you want to do and wait for responses. Or you can request to join other hangouts that is happening. […]

How your fear can hurt others – compassion as a reaction to violence, niceness – lying out of fear

­­This girl came to my hostel room the other day. She stayed for one night, and when I returned the next day, she was gone. Actually, she was not gone – she just changed rooms. We saw again in the elevator and she avoided eye contact and talking. We both knew what was going on.

I have to say, I got a little hurt by her actions, because she was afraid of me for some reason.

That got me thinking about the times that I would have hurt others because I was afraid of them. The times that I avoided them because I was afraid. Because they appeared a certain way, because they were hot, ugly or black (yeah, I know), wearing certain things, has tattoo etc.

Or merely because of my social anxiety, by thinking there is something wrong with me, that I am not good enough – all those times I avoided people.

Sometime back I was talking to this girl at a conference about my fear of women, that I am afraid to talk to women, she […]

By |2018-12-22T10:07:18+00:00December 14, 2018|Journal, Personal Growth Tips|0 Comments

Busyness, Avoidance, Anxiety of not Making Someone Out of You

Busyness – is it a symptom of something else? Is it a good thing or bad thing? Do you get points for being busy? Why are you always busy?

Being busy does not mean you are being productive. In fact, quite the opposite. Busy-ness stems from a fear of not being enough. A fear of being lazy. A fear of not having lived a worthwhile life. Wanting to look important in front of others. Busy-ness is being used as a measure of how much you are achieving without actually looking at what is being achieved. This kind of business is meaningless.

Busy-ness can be used as an excuse to avoid things that are actually challenging and important. ‘Can’t you see I am busy with something else?’- you say. You might be avoiding something that really needs looking at.

Relax and do only the things that matter.

Why do you do the things that you do? What is the reason behind your actions? What is the motive, what is the meaning – meaning as in – what is the outcome? […]

By |2018-12-24T20:49:31+00:00December 12, 2018|Personal Growth Tips|0 Comments

Benefits of Long Term Travel

There are many benefits for long term travel. Here are some.

It can be cheaper to travel long term. Many places are cheaper than staying in a place like London or Europe, especially if you are travelling to eastern Europe, Asia or South America. I stayed in Lviv, Ukraine for 3 months, eating out all three meals, engaging in local activities, spending time in cafes and bars – about $800 dollars a month. That is a lot less when compared to living in London, where I am usually based. I usually spend around £4000 a month when in London.

You will get to meet a lot of new people. Not that this is very meaningful to me, but you will improve on your social skills, and you will become more tolerant of people’s bad behaviour, appreciate small little gestures of kindness from others etc. You will be more relaxed with people. While it won’t cure of any social anxiety you have, you will be more relaxed with it and realise that most of the people you meet are in the same boat.

By |2018-12-24T21:18:41+00:00December 11, 2018|Lifestyle, Travel Tips|0 Comments

Knowing Anxiety – Attention, Control, Pathology of Positivity

Anxiety is a state where you are worried about the future or about something that happened in the past repeating as a memory and being afraid that it might happen again. You are never in the present moment; your mind is always looking forward to things or ruminating over the things that happened.

An exercise like, mindfulness meditation that teaches to stay present to the present moment, without interpretation and meaning-giving – will help you manage your anxiety.

Attention through mindfulness. Attention is not concentration. Concentration is exclusive, you concentrate on a particular thing. Attention is awareness, there is no exclusion or inclusion. There is nothing to accept, things are there whether you accept or not. There is no seeking, wishing or hoping. Attention is goalless. You simply are aware of what is happening, what is, in the moment, around you, inside you, the sensations, the mood, the things that arises in your perception without labels such as happy, angry, tree, chair, blue, green etc – for all of these are the meaning that we give to things. And these stop us from further being […]

By |2018-12-24T21:07:22+00:00December 11, 2018|Meditation, Personal Growth Tips|0 Comments

How to book cheap flights – The Most Effective Ways

Here are some tips on how to book cheap flights.

I know how much you want to get the best deals out there when it comes to planning your holiday. I understand. And you can bag some good deals if you have some basic knowledge on how to find them.

Use popular search engines

There are many popular search engines out there. The ones that I use are kiwi.com, momondo.com, skyscanner.com and kayak.com

And that is the order that I always search in. First Kiwi, then Momondo and then Skyscanner and lastly Kayak.

I also use some specialist websites that are built for a specific purpose – for example to design my stop overs I use airwander.com.

Kiwi’s website and app are good for finding the cheapest flights. I can easily look for several flight combinations that will give me the cheapest prices. That is what I like the most about kiwi.

The search engine does this by checking with different airline companies and joining them, instead of sticking with just one airline. Or flying you into a major hub in a region and then taking a domestic connection from there.

Because the legs of the trip can […]

By |2018-11-03T17:06:52+00:00November 3, 2018|Travel Tips|1 Comment
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